When it comes to intimacy, the perceived association with physical touch is a common one. But in reality, intimacy runs deeper than just your activity in the bedroom, and couples in long distance relationships are testament to this. Research suggests that couples with physical distance between them can share a higher level of intimacy than those who see one another on a daily basis.
It seems counter-intuitive, but the lack of physical closeness in long distance relationships gives way to couples actively seeking to create intimacy in new, creative ways in order to create a sense of normalcy. In the process, many successful “LDR” couples become stronger in this area than their close proximity counterparts.
Here we break down 7 things that long distance couples can teach you about intimacy.
Your sexiest asset is your mind.
From discussing sexual fantasies to roleplaying, long distance couples are notably better at opening up and using their imagination. They explore one another’s sexual desires and delve into the deepest levels of the mind where close distance couples rarely venture. Whether via video messaging, sexting or good ol’ fashioned written erotica, long distance couples get to know one another’s most intimate thoughts, building a stronger bond not only because of their sexy new knowledge, but because of the trust and acceptance this brings.
Ok, that’s not completely true – you’ll rarely hear a long distance couple telling you they’d rather have less physical contact than more – but in the absence of that sexy skin in skin contact, long distance couples still thrive. They learn that there are other ways to please the other and get real comfortable with embracing other things that bring them closer intimately. Their focus on meaningful communication and loving interactions builds an emotional intimacy that doesn’t replace the physical, but it does make it does go a long way to improve it when it does happen!
Long distance couples are creative geniuses. They literally have to be creative in every aspect of their lives. From coming up of ways to ‘be there’ at important events to making sure they watch the latest Netflix episode together, LDR couples know how to think outside the box. And their sex lives are no exception. The distance between them only makes their bedroom antics spicier: seemingly innocent games have a new set of sex rules, discussing the sex bucket list is a common conversation, and it’s not uncommon for them to set one another little sex tasks. It doesn’t work without communication
Communication is a key element in any relationship, but in long distance relationships, it’s a crucial aspect. Communication is literally the only thing which keeps the partners together, and without it, they’re two people, miles apart who simply say they’re taken. But it’s perhaps the way in which these couples communicate which is noteworthy. Not only do these couples talk about their daily grind, but they also talk about their feelings. With no emotional cues to pick up on, long distance couples have to talk about their emotions, even when they don’t want to, making for both a happier individual and a healthier couple. What’s more, the interactions are generally more conscious for long distance couples. Many close distance couples complain that their significant other doesn’t listen to them, something which rarely happens in LDRs.
Long distance couples aren’t afraid to employ some help to help them keep the physical part of their relationship alive. Technology has given way to some radical advancements in the sex toy industry. Why use any old vibrator when you can have a replica of your partner’s penis? Partner-controlled smart sex toys, are now a thing, so they pleasure doesn’t need to lift a finger (literally!).
But it’s not just sex toys, help can come in all shapes and sizes, and LDR couples always seem to sniff out the best apps and products to help them with their own specific relationship needs (and trust us when we say, there’s always something out there!).
It’s a timeless adage, but research shows that there is actually some truth in this age-old saying. Couples in long distance relationships have time to miss one another and so appreciate their interactions more and cherish every moment. They have time to fantasize about their beau and dwell on all the good things about their relationship…and what they might get up to when they do see one another again!
Couples in long distance relationship form a partnership and commit to making it work. They commit to weathering the negative connotations of their relationship. The disapproving comments from family. The lack of faith from friends. The difficulties of trying to have a ‘normal’ relationship from afar. It’s this commitment to their goal that forms a strong bond and a determination that they will do anything to ensure they don’t let the other down.
You see, physical intimacy is nothing without a strong foundation of emotional intimacy. It is fueled by the knowledge that each partner cares, truly, and knows the other on a deep level. The amount of effort long distance couples put into their relationships and steely determination to maintain a healthy level of intimacy is perhaps the most pertinent element to all of the 7 lessons discussed here. So, if you take one thing from this article, let it be that you must simply try.
Jennifer Craig loves love! Whilst in her own long-distance relationship, she began SurviveLDR to help other long-distance lovers thrive in their relationships. It was then that she became fascinated with love and its effects on everything in our lives. From physical, emotional and mental health to career, friendships and happiness, the state of your relationship affects it all…and Jessica loves nothing more than to delve into the inner workings of dating, marriage and love!