Moving On When You Still Love Your Ex

Ah… the love left over from a past relationship. You’re trying to move on, forget about your ex, but you still love them, making it feel impossible to move on. You feel like your love for them won’t go away. But can you really still love someone who you’re not connected to anymore? Let’s examine these feelings further and you’ll gain a more empowered perspective on your situation.

Oftentimes we have assumptions about love we have for our ex’s. They can sound a lot like:

• The love I had with my ex is irreplaceable
• I can’t possibly love anyone else while I still love my ex
• I feel like I’m not in control
• What if something were different?
• Should I have suffered through?
• I just want to be loved.

While it may feel that this love was only and will only be intended for your ex, that’s not necessarily true. They were a part of you at one time or another and helped shape who you are now.. By removing these assumptions you’re empowered to begin self-love.

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Ask yourself: What are my current go to “me” things to do?, When was the last time I spent an evening or day with my family/friends? If you are finding the answer to these are slim then it is a good indicator that these areas are lacking.

It can feel overbearing or lost trying to come up with ways to “fix” it. A few quick and easy ways to redirect that love and care are:

1. Sit down and write out 2 things you want to accomplish today along with 2 things you love/are proud of yourself for.
2. Exercise-Move your body, release the toxins that are pent up.
3. Call your friends or family and see what they are up to. Even if it’s just talking on the phone, they will love to hear your voice.
4. Relax.. you don’t need to plan getaway trips or dinner plans (unless you want to). Take some time and just breath. Be in the moment.

It will take time but remember that this love you have has come from you and is a part of you. You don’t have to forget or stop caring for the other person, but what you can do is turn that love into something good. Don’t hide it away to never be used again. Take time for you and your happiness and remember that by you being happy and healthy it brings about the same things- happy and healthy relationships.