Need Someone To Talk To? Choose Wisely

By Chloe

Being open and honest about your thoughts and emotions is healthy. You get a better understanding of yourself and a richer perspective of the world. You may be inclined to discuss them with your family, friends, or coworkers, but if the thought makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably a bad idea.

Sometimes what we really want to say is just rotten! It’s difficult to be speak openly and honestly about your emotions with people who are not an unbiased 3rd party. Your family, friends, coworkers, or others you have some sort of relationship with may not always respond with your best interests in mind.

Their interest is influenced by the relationship you have together. As you spill your emotions onto them, they might think:

  • What should I say that would improve our relationship? If you’re talking to a good friend, they may agree with everything you’re raging about in order to strengthen your friendship together. This might feel good to hear, but it gives you a skewed, inaccurate perspective on your situation. And this strategy may end up damaging the relationship in the long run. If they supported your rant about how your ex is a terrible person, they won’t look like great friends when/if you decide to get back with your ex.
  • Should I be concerned this will affect our working relationship? If you’re talking to a coworker, they might listen to your temporary spirited confessions and begin questioning your working relationship together. Because their exposure to you is brief, listening to your unfiltered emotions can hinder their impression of you. And if they aren’t honest about their concerns, they may leave the discussion with compromised sentiments toward your working relationship.
  • How do I help without damaging our relationship? Helping someone process their thoughts and feelings in a productive manner is a skill that not many possess. People you’re close to may have your best interest in mind, but lack this skill. They don’t know whether to be brutally honest, share stories of how they felt the same way, or just nod and smile. Just because someone cares about your best interests, doesn’t mean they’ll actually be helpful.

Choose An Unbiased 3rd party

Most people intuitively feel discomfort in opening up to people they already have a close relationship with. And they have a legitimate reason to feel that way. Fear of being judged or receiving bias advice/feedback is a real risk. This fear causes you to alter your behaviors to mitigate the risk, for example, you may not be completely honest about what you express. And if you’re are afraid of the consequences that may arise from talking through how you feel, it’s possible to even fool yourself about the details of your situation. Often, when we have the opportunity to speak about our thoughts and feelings unhindered, we learn a lot more about ourselves and the complexities of a situation than we realized we could. Explaining your story aloud often reveals answers you didn’t realize you already had.

Relationship Hero provides a platform for you to be open about your thoughts and emotions without the fear of being judged.

Expressing pain and sadness to a professional is extraordinarily useful. Not only is it relieving, but it allows the opportunity you need to move on to more positive thoughts. A counselor, therapist, or coach knows what to listen for and how to help. A third party professional benefits from the experience of seeing situations just like yours through from beginning to end. If you feel alone, it’s great to feel supported, heard, and understood. In addition, you’ll be provided with what to do and how to do it!

Healthy communication and honesty is an advantageous habit to practice and build.


Looking for help now?: Talk with one of our professional coaches here

Relationship Hero coaches are communication experts that make it easy to learn and practice the skills you need to build upon for strong, healthy relationships. It’s never too late to work on your communications skills and improve your quality of life.

Unbiased feedback, professional experience, advantageous insight, and step-by-step coaching to achieve your goals.