Size Matters (in Texting)

If we sneak a quick glance at your phone when you're texting your special someone, and we see something like the screenshot below:

wall of text

…we can instantly tell you’re screwed:

The Great Wall of China may not be visible from outer space, but we can see your Great Wall of Text with just a quick glance out of the corner of our eye:

wall of text

The length of your texts, and of the other person’s texts, is an extremely important factor to always be aware of. Without even reading any of the messages, we can tell from the huge size difference between green and gray that you’re coming off needy and desperate.


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If you have a habit of replying to a short text with an overly long text, it means you’re willing to give them emotional value without expecting to get back an equal (or greater) amount of value from them. You’re already sold on them, but you’re still working hard to sell them on you. That’s the unmistakable impression you make purely via the size of your texts. Size matters.

Reasons to shorten your text:

  • Come off less needy and desperate
  • Come off cool and collected
  • Imply that you’re busy
  • Come off emotionally unreactive to their previous text
  • Signal that they need to put more effort into the courtship
  • Signal that you’re not impressed with them

Reasons to lengthen your text:

  • Show that you’re interested in them
  • Come off as a more chatty, friendly person
  • Communicate the emotional response that their previous text made on you
  • Come off high-energy
  • Come off uninhibited

Overwhelmed? Luckily, there's a simple rule of thumb: make your texts approximately as long as their texts.