If you want to get back with your ex, you must first understand why you two broke up. Otherwise you may make the wrong moves and lose your opportunity to get back together.
Knowing what the real reasons are will help you figure out the right moves. For example, if you were overly needy, then you should avoid sending a long text confessing how much you need them in your life. In this case, a funny, spontaneous, casual text would be much more effective.
You'll also learn how you may need to change so the new relationship doesn't end up like the last one. For example, if another reason you two broke up was about you being lazy finding a job, then you should reach out to your ex only after you've landed a new job.
Fortunately, the fundamental reasons why people break up are common. Most breakups can be explained by one or more of these 11 common reasons. Use this list to try and figure out why your breakup happened.
Career trouble
Smaller work or social network
Behaving in a way that makes partner feel they have more power in relationship
Mental blocks in partner from allowing attraction to be developed
Made partner feel guilty or embarrassed about their sexual needs
Brainwashed to believe their thoughts on what makes a person attractive are overly superficial and wrong
Religious beliefs that suppress
Wanting to pursue interests that cannot be pursued while in the relationship
Live the single life longer
Want to experience an open relationship when partner doesn’t
Expensive, time-consuming hobbies or experiences
Traveling the world alone for 2 years
Skiing
Exploring other religions that differ from your partners
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Partner struggling to fulfill needs
Unwilling to indulge certain fantasies
Physically unable to be as sexually active as preferred
Partner doesn’t appear to be concerned about fulfilling sexual needs
Fearing openly discussing sexual needs because partner is judgmental
Shifting attention more towards other pursuits or people
Chatting/hanging out with friends or family more frequently
Spending more time at work
Less interactions
Not talking as much when together in-person
Calling or texting less when not physically together
Drop in communication quality
Vague responses
Not clarifying understanding as much
Unavailable to communicate when feeling vulnerable
Doesn’t compliment or acknowledge accomplishments
Not supportive of goals and passions
Insensitive to your insecurities
Always joke about something you’re sensitive about, even after asking them not to
Distrust promises
Financial instability
Uncertain of relationship’s direction
Not understanding behavior
Mixed signals
Upcoming unpredictable events strongly influence relationship’s direction
Where high school couples get placed into college
Whether parents will approve relationship
Controlling/possessive behavior
Saying not to go out with friends to clubs/bars
Demanding to share phone or social networking application passwords
Constantly asking for whereabouts
Nagging constantly about what they should be doing
Manipulative
Inaccurately framing situations as either positive or negative in order to control thoughts/feelings
Redirects blame
Life experiences, personality, cultural background, maturity level, financial situation and general life experiences factor into where we believe we are in life. Like when to get an education, start a career, live the single life, move in together with their partner, get married, have kids, etc. If the partner believes they’re at different points in life, it can sometimes be the sole reason for the breakup.
Public embarrassment
Disrespecting family or family culture in front of them
Personally offensive
The value provided in previous relationship was less than it used to be
Provides value in areas that were lacking in previous relationship
Losing to competition after their dating market value went up
Dropping 200 pounds and being exposed to a pool of higher value people interested in them, competition just got tougher
Alcohol problem
Out of control when binge drinks
Wastes weekends smoking week and not being productive