Which is better: Ask for a guy/girl's phone number, or give them yours?

Some people recommend asking for your date's number; some people recommend giving them your number. Here's our advice:

  • If you see yourself as more of the dominant leader in the relationship, or you want to be, ask for their number. This is most commonly the preferred approach for men.
  • If you see them as more of the dominant leader, or you want them to be, give them your number. This is most commonly the preferred approach for women.

Asking for their number is more likely to lead to a date

If you ask for their number, they just have to comply in the moment when the conversation with you is at its most engaging. Easy.

But if you give them your number, they have to (1) maintain their “buying temperature” and take initiative to text you at some point after time has passed (2) spend some effort to write an opening message for you.

If you want the other person to be dominant in your relationship (common desire for women), give them your number because they have to take initiative with it. But if you want to lead (common desire and expectation for men), ask for their number and handle Steps 1 and 2 yourself like a boss.

One more tip

Whenever you get a number from a dating app, text them immediately and continue the current conversation in mid-stream. That way there’s never that awkward “first text” moment.