This question is so special to me. I’ll tell you why.
I could be having the best day ever: I was awake before 9am, went to yoga, answered a friend’s phone call, learned something new, didn’t have cake for lunch, meditated, did some work, was feeling really ok. Good, even! But then. I start to feel a little tired or a little hungry or a little lonely and I send my boyfriend (or the guy I am dating or the guy I have a crush on) a text and he doesn’t respond. 2 minutes pass. I think maybe he didn’t hear his phone vibrate. I call. No answer. Now it’s been 3 minutes. Panic begins to creep in.
Suddenly nothing about my pretty excellent day matters anymore, like, not even a little bit. I force myself to wait another 10 minutes. Why hasn’t he texted me back? Suddenly my heart is racing, I’m thinking about the last 5 conversations we had, what I might’ve said that could somehow be interpreted as bad or wrong or condescending or aggressive, and I decide he’s 100% breaking up with me. That has to be why he hasn’t texted back and won’t answer his phone. Or he’s dead. Those are the only options and now I’m full on crying. I call one more time. Nothing.
This is the stuff that will TAKE ME DOWN.
So. What to do about it?? Well, if you’re like me, panic just a little bit more over the truth of not being able to reach him. Then. I do everything in my human power to NOT call him anymore. I probably send at least one more text but I refrain from sending more than 2 or 3. Cry some more. Then I TURN OFF MY PHONE. Turn it off. That’s it. Relief. Now that the phone is off I assume he’s probably trying to get in touch with me and that makes me feel better! I’m going to write something now that might not make any sense. At this point, it is no longer about “him.” Whoever the “him” is at that moment. It’s not about “him.” “He” is now representing something, some aspect of my life where I feel unworthy or not enough. This lack of contact is now latching on to any part of myself that believes I am unloveable. And as long that part of me exists, I will continue to be decimated by delayed responses to text messages and phone calls. So. Here’s where the work begins.
Here are 10 things I’ve learned when it comes to times of text message crisis.
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