He had wanted a break

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My ex boyfriend and I dated for a little over 2 years. He had wanted a break and we ended up taking one for a week and then talked and got back together. Things were going pretty well despite the fact that I felt like he didn't want to text or call as much as we used to. I voiced this to him many times and he said it was due to school and work so being busy. About a month after our break, I once again told him it seemed like he never wanted to talk or hang out. We go to different colleges so we have to make an effort to see each other on the weekends, however this hadn't been happening. One day I had told him once again that I didn't feel like he ever wanted to talk or hang out. Little did I know he would break up with me that night. The break up happened over the phone. He told me that I couldn't be so dependent on him and that I needed to go find more friends. He said he didn't feel the same about me anymore and that his heart wasn't in it anymore. He said I would never be happy with how he delegates his time between friends, family, me, work and school. And that he wasn't willing to give up anything. I had never asked him to give up his friends, but rather told him I felt like his friends were more important to him because I felt like he spent more time with them and always wanted to be with them rather than be with me. I now realize that I had been a nagging girlfriend. Any hope for getting back together with him? It has been a month since the breakup.
Well, there is always a chance. It sounds like you and your ex had some basic compatibility and there were no major betrayals or real harm done. This puts you on a good footing. I see that the break up was a month ago. We recommend at least 30-45 days no contact to reset the relationship. It allows for the negative feelings to fade away so your ex can remember the good stuff. I'm not sure if you've been in contact since the break up, so I'm not sure how much longer to tell you to wait, but after no contact you can reach out and see if your ex might be happy to hear from you.
I contacted my ex after about 18 days asking to meet up because I knew he would be busy while we were both home for Christmas break. He said he would be available the next few days, however when I messaged him a few days later because I had been unavailable, he told me he wasn't available and actually told me what he was doing the next few days. He apologized because he would not have time to meet up that week. I told him I was heading back to school soon and asked him about a specific day, however it has now been 4 days and he hasn't responded.
He already made it clear that he was very busy and was specific about his plans so it's best it's best to take him at face value. Breaks are extremely busy, especially during the holidays. An issue you mentioned was that you always felt like he didn't want to talk/hang out and that caused a rift because you would get upset and nag him about it. Don't fall back into this pattern. A personalized advice session could help you figure out more appropriate ways to reengage him, how to recognize the patterns in your behavior that hurt the relationship, and then how to resolve those issues.


Relationship Hero
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