I want my husband back


Hi. After 22 years together & 7 children. My husband has told me that he loves me but doesn’t have the feelings he should & wants us to split. We’ve both agreed we’ve neglected our marriage. He’s agreed he’s very tired & grumpy after work & this in effect makes me grumpy. It’s a viscious circle. This happened 10 days ago, the last 2 days he has been staying with his niece. We have spoken over the last 2 days, yesterday he said he wants me & the kids out of our house. He’s coming to see the kids tonight. I just want my husband back, the feelings back & my family back together. But I have no idea how when he says it’s over. I’m totally devastated
First things first, please speak with an attorney. There are laws that determine when and how he can kick you and the children out of the house. I am not suggesting you have to take action and start divorce proceedings. But I would suggest that you speak with someone to make sure all of your bases are covered. It sounds like the daily grind of work and raising children started to wear away at the connection between you two. Right now, things are pretty fresh. I would recommend giving your husband some space to actually realize what his decision would mean. That would involve not reaching out to your husband, while still answering his calls in order to manage your share responsibilities, like the kids and the house. I would not recommend moving out with your kids at this moment without first speaking to an attorney. It's hard for me to give you a time line to try to reconnect with your husband romantically until we know whether or not he is serious about starting divorce proceedings. Regardless, I think you should give it at least 2 to 4 weeks before you try to discuss the status of your relationship.
Thank you. I think this is exactly what has happened. For the last 3-4 month I really thought we were getting somewhere & doing well, until this all came out , out of the blue, he’s said it all meant nothing to him. He’s started behaving strangely as well, going to a friends & not coming home, I found from his mobile bill he’s texting another woman but insists she’s a friend. I discovered this 3 days ago & since I’ve found out he’s become nasty & blaming in the way he speaks to me. His body language is awful, he’s so stiff & looks at me likes he hates me. I’m giving him his space & hoping he sees sense soon. Just trying to keep myself going for the kids , but I feel like I’m dead inside. I have an appointment with a solicitor today to see where I stand.
I hope the appointment went well. To be honest, his behavior sounds like classic defensiveness. Subconsciously, he is thinking the best defense is a good offense, which is why he is being so angry and hostile to you, even though he made the mistakes. If you need any help figuring out your situation and what to do next, please don't hesitate to come back and try an advice session. We have experts here 24/7 that can help out whenever you need it.