So I recently got back in touch with my ex bf after a period of no contact for about a month so it was the first contact we had in a while. I reached out to him and the conversation went well and he was pleasant, so I thought he was ready to be friends again since we never ended on bad terms. I never brought up our relationship nor did he and we just kept it casual. The next time I started a conversation I thought it would be casual this time as well however he was only answering one word answers and I felt like I had to keep the conversation going by asking questions. He was so nice the first day and then this day he was completely different. The last thing I messaged was a question about his work and he never opened it even though he was online the whole time for another hour. I don't know what he's doing because it was his idea to be friends in the first place. Should I ask him if he's still willing to be friends or if he has changed his mind?? I'm very confused with him.
I can see why you're confused. Especially when he said he was willing to stay friends. How fast did you reach out after you first made contact? If it was the next day then it was probably too soon. You'll want to wait a few days in between trying to start a conversation. He could also just be busy or something. How fast did you reach out after the first interaction?
it's been 2 months since we broke up and I messaged him three days after the first contact.
What did you say when you reached out? Have you had any contact yet?
The first time I contacted him I said "Hey! It's been a while, I miss talking to ya:)) how have you been?" and he responded and he was nice and we kept it casual. The next time we spoke he didn't respond until I said something about him ghosting me and then he told me "i dont think we should talk lol" and then I guess I overreacted because I got a little mad and told him he shouldn't have told me to stay friends if he didn't mean it. He then said "alright" and then that was it. The next morning though I responded to him basically saying that I don't want to leave things like that with the way I acted and told him that I was just shocked because I was under the impression that he'd still care about me no matter what happened (because thats what he said) and then I said he'll always have my support even if I don't have his. He didn't reply to that but I wasn't expecting him to, then I found out he blocked me on instagram. I know I must've overreacted and he probably just needed more space. It's almost been three months since we broke up and we didn't end on bad terms so I want to tell him that I hope one day we can be friends again and I want to have a conversation with him concerning our relationship and just clearing up this situation. Should I ask him if we can talk? I know he probably wants me to leave him alone and I will but I need to say what's on my mind to him first and I want to know what he's thinking. I don't want to talk to him to be mad at him or anything, I just want to end on good terms again and tell him how I'm feeling but I don't know how to get him to speak to me without him blocking me. I don't want him to think I'm being pushy either so I don't know how to get him to talk to me if he's already told me he thinks we shouldn't talk. I'll probably wait another week to think about what to say and reflect if I really want to do this or not because right now I might be a little too emotional.
Hey, it is understandable you are emotional and it is good that you know that you want closure on this and move on. When there is no active relationship it is easy for the someone like your ex to just get out of the conversation by not answering or even blocking you. However, if you still have a way to communicate with him other than instagram, you can simply write him what you wrote above. By clear in what you are saying and keep it short. At the same time, you want to manage your expectations. He might not respond to you right away, but he is going to read it at some point. Be aware that when you are texting with someone you don't know under which circumstance they are receiving your message. So getting emotional about it is not helping. Work on your patience and find ways to feel better independent from his reactions.
Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it. And yeah we usually communicate through fb messenger and I think he blocked me off instagram because that's usually where I post my pictures so I don't know if he just doesn't want to see my pictures since it may be a reminder of me or something like that, i dont know i'm trying to find a silver lining haha. So do I just tell him how I feel about the situation then? Can I not ask him if we can talk because I want to have a conversation with him about everything. If it's not a good idea then I guess I'll just tell him what I need to say but I really would like it if he were open to have a conversation with me instead of just me stating my feelings and him reading without a response. Of course if that's the best way then that's what I'll do.
Well, you can not force him to talk to you. There are ways to re-initiate communication, but it is a longer process and something that we do here in an advice session. If you are simply looking for closure and he refused to talk to you, then yes, the only thing you can do right now, is tell him honestly and openly how you feel and move on.
Okay I'll tell him how I feel. Thank you for the advice!:)
My relationship is complicated and I need help me