Hi, I met my ex online from a chatroom. We never met each other. We were together for just 2 months, and there were some kinds of trusting issues and miscommunication. So we were on and off, but at the end, he was the one who broke up with me almost 2 years ago because I showed my face on the camera a lot for other men to view, this is what he just told me why he broke up with me recently, this really made him very upset because these men kept praising me about my looks. And he advised me that in the future, if I have another online boyfriend, don’t open the webcam for other men to view me in the public chat room, because no man is happy about that. But the thing is, he always wanted to help me with financial even we never met each other outside, he’s helped me with some money right after things went wrong. After broking up, we rarely talk to each other for 2 years. But mostly he acted cold and distant, or maybe he was liking someone else, I’m not sure about that, the lady he was chasing knew that we used to be the lovers, so she hasn’t made a decision to be with him or something, I’m not really sure. This is all about online, in the public chatroom. However, recently, I told him that in this 2 years I have never stopped thinking about him. He didn’t say anything about his feelings but asked for my new phone number and we talked for a little bit about random things, but then again, he offered to help me with financially because he heard from my friend who told him about my problems, he felt sorry for all the unlucky things that have happened to me in this 2 years, and he wished that he shouldn’t broke up with me in the first place so I didn’t have to move to another city and faced with all these obstacles, but this is what he said to my friend, and my friend told me about it. And then he send me an email asking me if I ever need his help, he’s willing to help. But I refused because deep down, I needed him more than the money, but I cannot tell him about that, I just want him to take me back without me forcing him. So, in this case, I’m not sure that he still loves me or not. Like, we never met each other in real world, all of this just happened online, but we texted and talked on the phone a lot before. But meanwhile, he keeps teasing with this girl in the chatroom, they send kisses and the love icons, but then she claim that they are just friends. And I think he just wanted to make the other lady to get jealous or something. And he hasn’t open up to tell me that he still loves me and wants me back after I told him about my feelings. So I’m afraid that he just wanted to help me because he’s a generous person or he just wanted to show off with my friend who told him about me, however, he just told me that whenever I need his help, just let him know, and suggested me to put my ego aside. And besides, I’m a single mom, so I’m not really confident about myself, so I don’t know what to do too. Should I let him go and never contact him again or should I ask him to help me with the money so he can have the chance to connect with me, but then I will feel like I’m gonna lose his respect or something. Please share your thoughts and thanks for in advance!
It sounds like although you aren't together right now, the dynamic of your relationship has been pretty one-sided, and even now continues to be. You need to be able to make your own decisions and have your own boundaries. No one else should be telling you how you need to act or who you can or can't talk to. You were only together for two months, so that may be why he didn't develop the trust in you that is necessary, but regardless, it seems very possessive that he would tell you that you can't even show your face to other people. It really doesn't help that he was helping you out financially, because it creates a situation where he could feel like he is taking care of you, so he has a right to tell you want to do. He may not mean it that way, but it's really not a good idea to become financially reliant on someone who doesn't trust you. To answer you question though, if you want to reconnect with him, asking for money is just going to start you off on an uneven playing field. I wouldn't recommend it.