Me and my ex boyfriend have broken up several times this year. Each time we have always continued to have contact with each other. This time is the first time we have never had any contact with each other since we have been together. I strongly believe in my heart that we will get back together, but he said we are never getting back together. He made it clear that her never want to talk to me again or be friends and he’s never said that before he’s always wanted to be friends. Will not having any contact with him help us get back together or help us move on from each other? Will he miss me the way I’m missing him?
To better be able to help you, can you give me a little more information on what caused this last breakup?
I rather not say exactly what caused the last argument, but it wasn’t the first time we argued about it. We had already talked about it multiple times before so he already knew it was something i had a problem with. I feel like if i would’ve talked to him instead of getting mad at him so quick he would’ve had a better understanding. But now it’s to late he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me and all i want is for him to come back.
That's alright, I understand. Not knowing exactly what it was that caused the argument, I'm not able to specifically tailor the advice to your precise situation, but I feel confident that I am still able to help. I think that, for right now, maintaining some distance would not only help the both of you gain some clarity, but I think that given how your past breakups have played out, he is probably expecting you to reach out. When you don't, he'll begin to wonder why, which may help 'lure him back in', so to speak. I would recommend a 30 day no contact period for now, but if he reaches out to you within that time, you can engage with him, provided you feel that the communication is both healthy and beneficial.
He’s not the type to contact people first that’s why i have doubts that no contact will help. But in the past i have always contacted him first. I think he’s going to move on and never come back and i don’t want that to happen.
The question you have to ask yourself is “Is it working when I continue to reach out to him and ask him to get back together?” No contact feels terrifying semicolon the vast majority of my clients are very worried that their ex will forget about them and move on during no contact. But the unfortunate truth is that they could move on even if you had been married for a couple of decades. You can't change, predict, or control what they will do. You only have control over yourself. And what you do know is that asking them to get back together with you has not worked. Even though no contact feels scary, it's something you haven't tried yet, and in our experience is the most effective way to get back with somebody.
He blocked on me social media, but he didn’t block my phone number. Should i just give up and move on or some i wait to see what happens after the no contact is over? I really want to be with him and I really want to make things work, but i don’t want to waste my time waiting on him to come back when he’s not. He told me that he is not coming back, but that was in the middle of the argument. I feel like he really didn’t mean it at the time he was just mad at me, but i really don’t know. I have a gut feeling he’s coming back soon.
I would wait and see what happens after no contact is over. I understand that you don't want to waste time waiting for him if he isn't going to want to get back, but there is no way to guarantee what he will want to do after no contact. It will however increase the odds that you will want to get back if you go through with a full month of no contact.
I recently talked to him and found out that he’s been talking to his ex from years ago. I feel like if they keep talking he will get back with her since they were young when they were together the first time. He says he doesn’t want to be with her, but for some reason I don’t believe him. Should I be worried? Or will he eventually come back to me?
You should be secure in any relationship you're in, so the question to ask is why don't you believe him? Is this a pattern of behavior that has been consistent throughout your relationship? We can work with you further in an advice session if you'd like, and we can work with you in a customized plan there to get your ex back.