Boldly asked a co-worker out. Got no response. How bold was I?
We talked about it in chat, but I am low on funds so I'd rather talk about it in public. Anyway, the co-worker and I have had a lot of friendly banter. Making fun of co-workers, admitting to using various substances, etc. So I thought we had enough rapport for me to just ask her.
Anyway, I got back into town and sent the text "I got back yesterday. Today, I sent my co worker a message saying "Hey, I'm back in [Our City]. Do you want to catch up? How about [local park] later"
No I'd usually ask for drinks or coffee but my vacation burned my wallet really bad and now I have no funds.
I am not really concerned about my job, but about the friendship with my co worker. We've worked together for 2 months and I feel like we got a good, at least platonic rapport built up. I feel like we are somewhat decent friends. She just transfered stores last week. I'd like to at least remain friends with her if she rejects my advances. But now I am freaking out.
She never replied. This was sent 10AM or so.
Oh yeah, I also feel like I should have opened up with some regular friendly banter, but I was advised not to, but I feel like that might have been my downfall. Since we haven't talked to each other in a few days. That or I should have been more alpha, suggested an exact time, and see if she wanted to join. I feel like I was either too forward or too beta.
I am still cringing over this. We were good work acquaintances but now I am so fucked up. Also, I just said do oyu want to go to [partial name of park]. There's Centennial school, centennial hospital, etc. I think park would make the most sense so I sent it.
I am still cringing. She probably thinks I am a creep now. Is it just the weed making me freak out? Idk where else to post this...
Hey there, sometimes people get busy and check texts while they are working on something (it was 10 AM, and she could have just looked while working) and totally forgot to respond. Your approach wasn't bad, but I personally would have said "I'm headed to the park later today, you're welcome to come join me if you have time." Make it seem low-key, and make plans that are not contingent on another person, so that it they aren't able to make it, you don't feel dejected. Plus it makes you seem like you're always doing something but keeping them in mind. Friendly banter is also never a bad idea, especially if the person was receptive to it before. You can always send a photo of something neat at the park and say something casual like "oh you missed out on seeing this! Maybe sometime next week we can head back and see if we can see [thing in photo] again, since I'll be there anyways." Don't worry about seeming "alpha" or "beta."
Now I feel like an idiot. I work up until Christmas, so there is no getting cool pics of a park. I do agree with you that I should have made the text mention that I was going to go to the park as well, and wanted to see if she wanted to join. I feel like I may have sketched her out. I really hope I can get another shot at this. But I feel like I just blew my chances and now she thinks I am a creepy creeper. But I do think that the "I'm headed that way" would REALLY made it seem less creepy, but I forgot. Oh well. It just hurts that I blew my chance with a girl I've had a thing for for a few months over leaving out a small detail in a text.
See my edit
No, don't worry about that! Maybe in like two weeks or something you can follow up nonchalantly. You can just even say something that you like about the particular park, like "oh there's this cool [food place/coffee place/monument] at the park,so I'm gonna check it out next week, you're welcome to come if you like/have time."
Hmm. Well all the monuments are things that everyone from Nashville know about, so I can't think of anything. I am just worried that reaching out casually might creep her out. I hope that maybe she may reach out for something work related soon, and maybe I can transition it into small talk? Idk. But I am really bothered at how she didn't reply. And I feel like she may think I am creepy ,because I feel like adding that I was going to the park myself may have been an ESSENTIAL part. :( Let me know if I am overthinking
It's probably not a good idea to wait until she makes the first move -- who knows how long you might be waiting! The key is to keep it light and make it look like you're NOT overthinking it, even though you are. Bring it up in casual conversation, don't make it sound like you've rehearsed it, and you'll be fine.
So it is not likely that she thinks I'm creepy due to my delivery of my invite?
Update: She told me to call her today. She opened up with an apology of forgetting to text and email explained to me that her car was wrecked and she's going through a lot of stuff due to the holidays.
But then she transitioned into a work question. So I feel like she only apologized for not replying to my invite so she can make her asking me a work question less awkward.
However, at the end of the work question, she did reiterate that she was down to make other plans sometime.
I think you can believe that she apologized sincerely, and that she didn't have time because of all the stress she's under with everything she has going on. Since she mentioned that she'd like to make plans some other time, that's a good sign. She's not shutting you out. You can make a light suggestion about something else you'd like to do together once she has less going on. Try that and see how she responds.