I cheated on my ex-boyfriend while i was away for a summer intern. I was doing something like prostitution but not really like that but i'm not a slut or a whore. My ex-boyfriend found out afterwards and broke up with me. He's having a difficulty right now with me but we still see each other. He's been on dating sites since we broke up and talking to lots of girls. It has been almost 2 months since we broke up and I want him to know that I will not do that again.
How can he believe me again? I want us back together? I tell him it's going to be tough but once we get through this, we'll be better and stronger than before. He calls me horrible names but then he would make me feel better by hugging me and kissing me. What can I do to show him that I have really changed and won't cheat on him again? Help me please.
You wont want to mention anything about him being on dating sides or anything right now. A lot of the time people go onto those sites to get validation which is probably something he's looking for right now because he's been cheated on and doesn't feel like he's enough. Earning trust takes a lot of time and patience. You'll want to overly-explain everything to him to make him feel like he's there with you so that he has nothing to worry about. Who you're with, what you're doing, what you're eating, who's around you, etc. Consistency is key right now.
So are you saying that I should just let him be on dating sites right now? He said he enjoys talking to other girls and has been on dates, saying that he could see himself with one of them if anyone is willing to take him or feels the same way about him. He tells me he wishes I never existed in his life and erase the memories he had with me. He said he's ready to move on, yet I feel like he can but can't at the same time. He said that he's not supposed to start a new relationship but he knows people who started a new relationship with someone else as soon as they dumped their other half.
He said he's not proud of me anymore, and he doesn't want people to think why he's with me and doesnt want to worry about people finding out what I did. He says I'm tainted. He says he has nothing to work with me, that i'm in the negatives, not starting from 0. He said that one day I'll realize and decide that he's not worth it anymore, that i will cheat on him again because there's no such thing as forever.
He said he doesnt know what it means to give me a chance and that he can start fresh with literally anyone. He said he's ashamed of having me as his ex. I told him i have learned my lesson, reflected on how i have mistreated him and took him for granted, both him and the relationship. What can I do now? I feel like i am losing him soon and i don't want to. I feel like there's still hope and love between us.
Well right now here is the thing, you don't really have a say if he can be on dating sites or not. If you tell him not to be on them it will just make him angrier and push you away even more. So right now you kind of just need to let it be (which is hard and may not make sense, I understand). But it sounds like he has a lot of anger and frustration built inside. This whole thing is going to take time and patience. You wont be able to force him into something he doesn't want. Right now he has built up a wall because he is very hurt. But over time that wall can come down but you need to be patient. If you'd like a more personalized plan I highly suggest starting an advice session so you can talk to an expert and figure out what the best plan is for your situation.