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So my girlfriend and I have been together for a year, and there was many good moments, but also bad ones and it's mostly due to my cancer diagnosis and the mood changes it's causing me to go through. She believes that because of it we could never work, but I'm going in for treatment on Saturday and will be back in a few weeks and I believe that will change everything and I will be able to be that guy she needs in her life. She sends mixed signals on wanting me and then not knowing what she wants and at times is set on us not getting back together even after treatment. She reacts impulsively and changed her status to single on Facebook, but a day after changed it to where she doesn't have a relationship status along with sending me songs about love and pictures of us having such good times and I want to do everything to get this girl back and I would go to all ends of the world to get her back. I feel she's using the tactic of acting like it will never work again, but it's obvious she still wants me because I told her I'm going out with some friends and she freaked out believeing I would be with other girls and made sure I promised her there were no girls. I believe she's using the no contact method and listening to other people's input on things and not following what she wants. She said it kills her to not text me and she hesitates and cries and tells me to not say hey I believe we will get back after this because she then says no I won't date you again, but has told others she would take me back and I'm so confused. I just want to know exactly what to do in order to get her back because I promised I would try until I physically couldn't anymore.
Firstly, I'm sorry you're going through this. This must be stressful for you, as well as your girlfriend. It's true that stress affects people in different ways, and it seems that your girlfriend is choosing to pull away instead of being there for you during this time. How long have you two been together before your diagnosis? Have you two had any issues like this before?
Five months, and no issues. I did everything for her and we both loved our lives.
It could be that she is scared. Cancer can be a very terrifying time for everyone involved, and for some people, that's how they deal with their fears; they run from them. I think that, with the mixed signals she is giving you, she may be confused about what she wants, herself. I believe that, for the time being, it's best to give her some space, because I think that trying to influence her decision may, in fact, push her further away. During this 'no contact period', let her know that, while you will always be there for her, and you're not giving up, you need to take some time right now to focus on your treatment and recovery, and focus on getting healthy. Not only that, but it will give her some time to truly think about what it is she wants and the reasons why she ended the relationship to begin with.