Hey I’m looking for some advice as I feel I’ve no one to talk to about this, I met this girl online and things were going brilliant, we had so much in common we lived in the same area and we were both attracted to each other, our conversations were long and we got on so so well it was easy to talk and didn’t feel like a task coming up with things to say to her, I used to get flowers sent to her work to surprise her things felt right..after talking on the phone and texting we met up after about a month(she has a child which is why it took a long time) our first date was amazing we had so much fun, we then met another good few times and spent more time together, she would text me stuff like “our children will be beautiful” and that she was so glad she met me because she had never got on with anyone as easily as me, things were great and I thought I’d finally found that person I could see myself with for a long time, as time went on I didn’t see it at the time but I was over texting and calling her until she eventually told me we stopped speaking for 2 weeks until I reached out to her as I knew I didn’t want to lose her and I had to get a few things off my mind, she also said she couldn’t delete my number because she didn’t really want to let me go...We spoke again for about a week and I then done the same thing again without even noticing until she said I was smothering her and she felt overwhelmed and that it was too much, I know she has blocked my number but I have her email address,I’ve not spoken in a week or so, I don’t want to lose this person but I’m confused as to weather I should let it go, wait a while or reach out to her?? Bit of info we are both 29 she has a 3 year old son and things are complicated with that side as she has a restraining order against his dad due to violence, can someone please help and advise me ..!??
When you text too much and call too much it can cause the other person to start losing interest and attraction...and as she said it, she felt "smothered". And when someone points this out to you, but you continue anyways, it can be a bit off-putting to them because you are not respecting their boundaries. It can also look like you are suddenly making the person the center of your life - and that can be a lot of pressure on someone. People like to know that you have things going on in your own life as well. Also, in her position, she is a busy mother to a 3 year old, so she would likely notice this even more. You have to give her time and then hopefully she will want to give you another chance - she will need time to miss you though. She should also be the one to reach out to you (especially since she has blocked you). I think if you emailed her, that would really be risking closing the door on this for good. Just be patient, keep busy, and give her time to forget the bad and remember the good times.
Ok Trina thanks for the advice, it’s what I was looking for as I’ve never been in this situation before and have no clue as what’s best to do I’m happy to wait it out and hopefully she will reach out to me or I will forget her in time
Best of luck to you....remember "less is more" :)
Just just one more thing,I really don’t want to lose this girl, have you got any idea as to how long this sort or thing can take?
You need to be patient for at least a month...seeing as she blocked you, it could take longer. Just try to stay busy during this time and work on improving yourself vs. thinking of it as a "waiting period" for her to reach out.
That’s fair enough, I’ve heard of no contact for at least 4 weeks again I wasn’t sure hence why I asked, it’s going to be tough because I think of her at least few days if not everyday but I’m happy to give it that and after that It’ll help me decide within myself that it’s time to forget and move on, thanks again
I'm sorry for interfere but I see no contact, give time to you to know if this person really still want you or not, one week is enough and for more making sure give her one month then move on because if she really loves you, she can't wait more than one month for no contact. for you and also for me this is the good advice, no contact can prove this person want you or not and if not, we should move on and don't wait for someone, he doesn't care and he knows how mush we are suffering and he doesn't want to just help us to heal, he just think for himself, isn't for someone who loves you and want to give him a good future, not be loading on him. Again sorry for giving my opinion, but i'm really hurting like you. and i wait for him more than 4 months to talk to me but he was playing waiting game.
If she doesn’t reach out would it be worth me reaching out one last time in the next 3-4 weeks? As I said this is all new to me and I feel so helpless
Yes. in 3-4 weeks you can reach out. I recommend starting an advice session with our one our experts to get a better understanding of what you should say when reaching out and have a solid plan for when you do
I’ll Try that then only if I hear nothing first, I’ve got a lot of time to think about what to say I don’t want to write a book to her I’ll keep it short and truthful that’s all I can do, if I get lost or stuck within this period I’ll get the correct advice but all I can be is myself and I wouldn’t want to make things up and say anything just to get her back.
No problem! Talking is good :) Make sure you take your time and not rush into things! Feel free to reach out in an advice session if you need help on things like how to respond to text messages or anything of the sort. We're here to help :)
Repost, my comment vanished, quick update for anyone going through the same situation, I reached out to her and send an appropriate card explaining how I felt towards her and admitted to the small mistakes I made, she texted me a few days later saying that she wanted to forget about the past and leave it in 2017, she admitted that she do think about me a lot and that it had felt a lot longer than 4/5 weeks since we spoke, we are now back in contact and things are looking good, taking it slowly as we agreed we don’t want to rush things as we want this to work.. clearly the non contact period does work I really didn’t believe in it before I tried it as I thought it was too long and I would lose her, I would advise anyone thinking about it to give it a go, it’s hard to not contact the person as your always thinking about the but I’m so glad I did, thanks for the help folks
We are glad you are moving slowly and giving it a second chance. Thank you for sharing your update.
It’s bits been a week and a half n things were fine doesn’t se social media so she re added me on snapchat,although the last couple of days her texts have been short when I ask about her day, she used to be so detailed about what she’s up to etc, Saturday night was weird I heard from her once all night as she was meant to be at her sisters for the night, last night she text me once as she said her friend was coming round for dinner, I’m now worried that she is seeing and spending time with someone else, am I overthinking things?? She said she’d never lie to me so I’m so confused and I really don’t want to get hurt again, can you help please!??
Can it take longer than a week for the feelings to come back to what they once were?
We'd be happy to continue helping! The best way to get immediate and detailed coaching is to join us in a coaching session. If you have other questions you want answered, or if you need support while you are figuring this out, a coaching session is the perfect thing for you.
It’s ok, it’s all ended I’m happy to now fret about her completely and move on
I'm sorry that it may not be the outcome that you wanted but I'm glad that it won't be a constant source of text and worry. Please come back any time should you need any sort of relationship advice. (: