At Relationship Hero, we help people overcome their relationship challenges successfully. You get instant access to a team of professional coaches. We match you with coaches who specialize in areas where you need help, and our coaches provide actionable advice that's personalized to your situation. We're available 24/7 for ongoing support along your journey.
Each coach is trained and certified by Relationship Hero, and we stand behind their coaching with our 100% satisfaction guarantee.
It’s been a few months now since I got into a relationship with this woman from Colombia. We met each other through an international dating site online called LoveMe. Her last relationship ended about a year ago and since then, she’s kept a strong friendship with her ex-lover.
I trust that there is no monkey business going on between them and that I shouldn’t worry about having a third party involved but it’s hard not to be bothered by it. The thing is that before she got into a relationship with her ex, they were best friends. When they broke up, they wanted to save their years of friendship together.
That is why they casually keep in touch and often times hang out. Now, I’m not much of a believer in ex-lovers staying as friends after breaking up, but I don’t want to stir something with my girlfriend about the matter. It’s hard to look past it whenever my girlfriend spends the day with him or grabbed a cup of coffee. Be it for only a minute, it’s really difficult for me the more this goes on.
I don’t want to be selfish and as much as possible I want to keep a calm composure regarding the issue, how do I deal with this in a mature and passive way? Is there even a method to be okay with this? I don’t want to fight with my girlfriend about this. Don’t get me wrong, I trust and love her with all my heart but I really want to get this off my chest.
Any amount of advice and tips would be tremendously helpful. Do you guys know some ways on how I can at least rest easy with the thought that she’s friends with her ex-lover/ best friend? Thanks so much in advance for any insights. I’m also very open in listening to past experiences and personal opinions.
There are many reasons why exes keep in contact with one another, and friendship is certainly one of the more legitimate. However, it's also understandable why you would have reservations about your girlfriend spending the day with her ex or even grabbing coffee with him. Express your concerns to her, she should understand them given that they were once in a romantic relationship, and see if she would be open to you accompanying her on a get together with him. Perhaps not all the time, but often enough so that your mind can be put at ease.