We have an off and on relationship. And he has hurt me more times that I can think of. And I can’t get over him he is the one crush that never goes away and it’s very annoying help please.
I have tried everything he just isn’t going and when I see him and he talks to me I can’t help but like him more and then I get hurt when he goes off to someone else again and again idk what to do I’m tired of being hurt by him all the time
Just from reading your short post, I can see that part of the reason why you're having a hard time getting over your ex is that you are still in contact with them. You say that every time you see him and that he talks to you it makes you feel like you should be with him again and it makes you miss me even more. Very often, when you don't give yourself enough time away from your ex, you can stay emotionally engaged in the relationship. I'd strongly recommend that you take 30 days of no contact where you do not reach out to your ex, and you only have the interactions that you are required to have for school or work. I think you may be surprised how you would feel about your ex if you gave yourself a month without talking to him.
That would help but I have tried for even a longer period of time. With no contact for about 3 months maybe. It just feels hopeless to me so I have come here
And yes it helped a little bit but now that he is moving back it’s going to be very hard
Hi. I know this is hard, we have a tendency to hang on, whether it be attention, being used to patterns or simply identifying with the -here he comes, there he goes'. I can keep it really simple and basically say, if this guy knows you are available every time he gives you a hello and a smidge of attention you are always going to be a plan B to him. You are there, but you are not there. The issue you are having is not necessarily him on and off.... & in between other lovers, its from you tolerating this behavior. We tolerate certain behaviors because some times we are simply afraid of our own "speaking up" we are just not used to it. Sometimes we keep on with this cycle because with have allowed ourselves to believe 'this is what I deserve'. It sounds like to me, if you have not already, you need to clearly speak your mind as to what you are not going to put up with anymore, as the wishywashy behavior on his part is disrespecting the integrity of your personal value. I would let him know how much the back and forth behavior hurts and ask him to leave you be. Its entirely possible the bread crumbing will end eventually and he will grow into a respectful man and you will have the space you need to heal and see what truly amazing relationships there are out there, with men who respect and value you.
Next time I will try to be honest I am shy in relationships I get scared if he is going in for a kiss or anything and speaking up too cause I always tend to say the wrong things or just simply don’t know what to say
Right, if its not true for you; you are going to keep getting hurt. This pattern is not your *honest* self. The shy part of you is likely the part where I mentioned our own 'speaking up'. A million women have been in that place and I need you to know you are supported. If you do not feel comfortable inside, then don't allow it outside. :) This is the beginning of a great relationship you'll develop with personal boundaries. Take your time. The spaces in a sentence are as important as the sentence itself; like the spaces in communicating, the same.
Thank you for your help it is greatly appreciated
I need closure from a past relationship but I know that is something I will never get and it's hard to move from a relationship and there kids involve as well I want to move on and I don't know how