I am 30 Male, She is 35 Female.
I have a bit of a messy situation on my hands. My gf and I have been dating for about 3 months. we have already gone through some ups and downs, mostly she thought i was cheating on her with another girl but we worked that out and it was mostly my fault for putting myself in that position (I spoke to another girl for my cousin and invited her up to the condo for drinks with the rest of the group) and I won her back and told my self i would never let her go.
That was about 4 weeks ago, and then we have been doing great.
The new "Hurdle" is that she has a very time consuming and demanding job. she works about 6 days a week at her company and then 2 nights on the weekend at the bar. We usually hang out Sat night, and Sunday ( i pick her up from her shift at the bar and we go to her place for the night and Sunday). Well this past Sunday we didn't hang out, she didn't tell me we were not hanging out, and i go a text from her on Sunday saying that she just woke up.
Me not hearing from her Saturday night, I made plans to go see my friend at the hospital on Sunday where he was getting cancer treatment to go lift his spirits, but when i got the text she just woke up on the Sunday, I told her that she needs space (Obviously I over reacted, and was an idiot and childish) She replied with ok. I then immidiately texted back and said sorry and that i regret sending that msg and that she doesn't need space. I Texted her yesterday saying that i was sorry and that I wanted us back together. That I was an idiot, but I was just stressed out with my friend having cancer and seeing him like that and that she didn't even let me know if we were getting together. She responded saying that we were not going to work out, but after I explained and told her that we were going to be fine, she said that was ok and that she supposes that we can talk things out. Well while we were talking when she got home from work and getting ready to talk things out around 8pm last night, I passed out. Woke up and 10pm and asked if she wanted to talk still... nothing. no text back. so i called, and also nothing. She might have fallen asleep. So i sent her a lengthy msg saying how much i loved her and that i wanted to be with her. and still nothing. Today i left it alone till lunch and asked if we could talk after work and still nothing, I just called about an hour ago and left a msg on her Voice mail saying that i would really like to talk.
I am not the over smothering type, I am very confident guy.
She fell head over heals for me, and although she hasnt said she loves me too, i know she feels it.
She is a very stuborn personality, and has a bit of an ego as well. These are all reasons i love her. She puts me in my place and also makes me work for it. I have had a very easy time with women in my past, and never really taken any relationship seriously until this one.
Any advice on this matter would greatly help, as she is now not replying to my msgs.
This is very detailed. Thank you. Okay so it sounds like things are still very refresh right now. First thing you'll want to do is to stop reaching out to her because you're constantly reaching out and its only pushing her away. you're going to want to give her some space to breath a little. She was probably not happy that you fell asleep when you were supposed to talk and took that in a very negative/personal way. You've been reaching out to try and fix things which is great but right now she isn't responding and you continuing to reach out isn't helping. Give it a few days and reach out again
She called me today to say that it is over. That she cannot have a career like hers and have these antics going on every 2-3 weeks. which is understandable. I feel like she is just lumping me in and saying these things because she is very stressed with work. I tried to tell her that it wouldn't happen again. I have been very understanding of her, and that she has to flop on plans because of her job, but she is not understanding the stress i have been in this week with my friend being very sick and now my cousin being arrested. Should I give it space and time? she is very stuborn person with a big ego and just said that it is just not going to work, that she feels that we can't work because of what i have done already in the past in such a short time, and also with her work schedule.
You should definitely give it time and space. Your ex specifically asked for the time and space, so you should show her that you respect her needs by giving it to her. If she has broken things off with you, it is not her responsibility to manage the stressors in your life. You need to give her at least three to four weeks of space and time, focus on improving yourself, and then feel free to come back and we can work on a plan to reignite the spark in your relationship.
I agree Erica, but I was the one that screwed this up by telling her that she needs space. and when we were supposed to talk monday, she was all down for continuein the relationship. But now that I have let it sit so long and gave her time to think, she called last night and said after she thought about it, that its over. I will give her space, but she works as a bartender at the bar that I go to with my friends. and i am supposed to go there Tomorrow night and Saturday night for christmas parties