My ex and I met back in September and we were together for 2 months. Absolutely loved this man, and he absolutely loved me. He saw one time that I had complimented some guys on Snapchat and he said he felt like he was no longer important to me. Which isn’t true, he was and still is very important to me.
We had sex once after we broke up. The very next day, he asked out his best friend, who is a female. He says he’s bi but I’m not buying it lol.
I didn’t talk to him for almost a month until recently and we hung out on Friday night. Made out and nothing sexual really happened. Then we have been texting everyday since then and he’s been giving me mixed signals.
I’ve asked him if he’s thought about getting back together with me and he said ‘yes’ and then when I ask if rebuilding trust would he with it if we were happy together. And he just tells me he doesn’t know what he wants.
I’m trring to figure out if there is really any way to make him attracted to me again and any kind of way to get him to want to work on rebuilding trust so he doesn’t get hurt again. Because I love this man and I don’t want to leave him alone forever because I feel like he is the ONE.
I am struggling to know what to do when I text him and I feel like I only have a short amount of time until someone else might take him and mistreat him.
Since that wasn't the reason you broke up, and you have continued to make out and even have sex after the breakup, I don't think you need to worry about him being attracted to you. In fact, if he can already talk to you whenever he wants, gets emotional support from you, and can be intimate, without any commitment on his end, what would motivate him to get back together when he already is getting everything he needs?
I would suggest easing up on the communication a bit. Make a resolution that you will only send him ONE text for every one he sends you, and only text him when he initiates it. This way, you are limiting the supply of your attention, while simultaneously creating more demand because he has come to expect that he can still talk to you whenever he wants. Keep your texts friendly and positive so that he associates your messages with positive feelings and begins to eagerly look forward to your responses.
Most importantly, if you see each other in person, simply explain that it’s too hard for you to be friends and still get physical, because it is making it much harder for you to heal, so you don’t want to fool around.
All of those actions are going to help you stay at the top of his mind. Staying confident is also very important to being considered attractive by your partner, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him finding someone else. Just remember that you already know how to make him happy, and if he is “the one” for you, then you are “the one” for him. If you believe that you don’t need to worry about competition, then you really won’t need to worry about competition.
In an advice session, you could get step-by-step advice on how to be the most successful at getting him back, and you would have access to a wealth of experts, and their feedback day or night. It sounds like a personalized action plan would really benefit your situation…