As you have said, she is definitely confused with her feelings. Often when people are in this position and feeling torn between two people, they try to ride it out as long as possible without having to be put in a position to "choose" one person, as they fear they may make a mistake and regret their choice. That said, I think that unless you distance yourself and pretty much go no contact with her until she makes a decision, you will likely find yourself in limbo for quite some time. If both of you guys are pretty much available to her, she is not going to feel the same pressure as if you took a step back. Plus, taking a step back can help put things in perspective for her. If she really wants to be with you, she will be worried that she is risking losing you if she doesn't make up her mind and choose to be with you over the other guy.
thank you! i’m most likely going to do that... but it is hard.. if i️ were to talk to her is there anything i️ could say to make the situation better?
also what should i️ say when i️ decide to contact her after no contact
Yes, it can be challenging to step back, however, if it can help you in the long run, it is definitely worth it. We can help you in terms of what you could say to her in an advice session