I'm 35 and he is 37. when man said i'm not ready for relationship but i want to talk to you from time to time and he knows i love him and i want relationship with him and i want to have a baby from him. he knows how much i'm suffering but he decided to be here when he is available. do you think he has emotion for me? do you think he will call me again after i told him i will not wait for you again? he knows that i couldn't be his friend because i love him so we couldn't be friends. i don't want to call him so please don't tell me try no contact. because I already decided to do no contact but i need to know after a while not right now he can call me , he can ask me to hang out and see each other, he can give me another chance, i asked him to give me another chance but he said that i'm not ready now. he said he is busy. please guys just tell me after no contact, man can come back and at least ask how am i? or enough is enough. please tell me can emotion change. i want to tell him that i see him like he is my baby my son , I want to help him to set up our future , i want to tell him we can reach our dreams together and have a home and baby. i want to tell him i'm gonna help him and change his sadness to happiness, i want to help him to heal from his sad past. i will do my best to let him happy and joy. but he couldn't give chance to tell him that. please help me what should i do?
I think that you're on the right track right now with no-contact. I know you must be experiencing a lot of pain, and anxious to seek closure. With no-contact comes the opportunity for your ex to remember the fond memories that you two shared together, rather than focus on the present and the negative - so yes, I do believe that in doing so he will reach out to you to seek closure especially since it seems like the two of you left things so open ended.
do you think he will text me again? i wish to see him and talk, i'm afraid from he doesn't call or text me. i feel disappointed i tired everything to keep him in my life but he couldn't help me, maybe he sees there is no future for us. he is american, christian and i'm Egyptian Muslim.
i'm so confused, i'm trying to looking for something make me feel better. but i do believe there is nothing will prevent him to come back if he wants, he knows how much i love him. my heart is squeeze when i feel may he will not text me again. there is something tell me he will text me soon and my brain tells me no, he doesn't want me and if he cares like he said before he will call me and stay with me even without relationship just be with me as a friends and maybe if we keep talking and see each other something change. he knows i need him
all what hurting me i told him in the beginning if you wanna leave, leave now is batter than later, he said no. i told him i don't want to hurt anymore, he gave me hug and said no i will not. but he hurts me , broke my heart. he doesn't want to help me, he left me in a dirt and act like he doesn't care. but last time when i saw him he act like he cares he gave me a big hug.
i know he cares but he is selfish, please tell me he will call me again and if he not so what should i do? move on and forget
we don't have anything common, there is no anything can make us talk or see each other by accidentally.
i am following the no contact rule but it's hard to stop thinking. i wish to know if he still thinking about me after he told me he is not ready for relationship and i told him that i want to have a relationship with you and have a baby from you but i'm sorry, it was misunderstanding, i will not wait for you again. please tell me he will text me or call me, or that means is done. Help is this truly the end or no? i feel he will text me on Christmas. if he text me merry Christmas what should i do? say thank you or say nothing.
It sounds like you two were on very different pages about where you wanted this relationship to go. You are definitely on the right track with no contact, because if he's unsure about being in a relationship hearing that you want to have a child with him can be very overwhelming. I wouldn't expect too much from him over the holidays. Christmas in particular puts a lot of pressure on people and has a lot of meaning in relationships. Don't get your hopes up too much that he will reach out on Christmas. If he does end up contacting you, you have the right idea. Just respond back thank you and if you want to talk with him, make sure to keep it about positive and fun things. No discussion about the old relationship and wanting to get back with him.
Because I have some concerns that he won't reach out to you over Christmas, here's what you can do to stay healthy during no contact. Getting as much exercise as possible can tire out both your mind and your body, letting you sleep easier. I would also suggest trying to reach out to friends and family to do things that can keep your mind distracted. Perhaps you can look into taking a class, or focusing on a hobby that you've always wanted to learn about. Don't forget to lean on the people around you to keep you from thinking about your ex.
I know my situation is difficult and i see he and i are in different pages, and i'm trying to heal and move on. I'm trying to think positive and start my life from the beginning but please tell me only one thing
one day he will come to me and ask for hung out, he will talk to me again or everything is done. you have experience about relationships, just tell me he will talk to me again or not. maybe my question is stupid but i'm really tired and i'm all over the place. just i need only one hope make me feel better.
Erica's advice about focusing on yourself and leaning on other people is incredibly valuable because of how well it can work. While there is a chance that he will get back to you, it's hard for us to make promises because no one can answer that question except for him. As you spend more time focusing on your own interests and hobbies, you'll find that you feel better about the situation eventually.
OK, thank you for your advice. you are right no one can answer that question except him. thank you again.
I'm following no-contact for 12 days until now but last night was so hard for me, I thought about my ex too much, I was crying and praying to my God to bring him back to me or take this feeling from my inside. I'm really hurting and struggles, I felt like I need to call him but I have nothing to tell him but I miss him too much and at the same time I feel that I hate him, he did hurt me and he knows he hurt me, he didn't do any effort to keep me in his life, he is selfish. I have feeling tell me that he still thinking about me but he doesn't want to take any action.
I know as you guys said nobody knows what tomorrow will bring to us but I'm afraid that he won't call me or that is the end. I love him so much. I felt amazing feeling with him. I was ready to do anything for him and help him to reach his dreams. I feel like I will never feel this emotions again. I told him last time that I gave you the last love I had it and the last emotions and feelings I had because of that my love was so strong and I have fear if I leave and you get back to me, I couldn't so because of that I wait for you. he respond nothing.
please help me. I expected that he will text me on Christmas but he didn't and I have hope he texts me on new year to say happy new year. just saying happy new year. I know maybe he will not say it but if one month with no contact finish and he doesn't call me or text me. what should I do? forget! so there is no any hope and if there is hope. NO, I think he has another girl with him, he is a good man and he has girls around him. it seems like the perfect thing for me to move on and looking foreword and try to be safe
Please help me if you have any advice for me
I think that you're doing great so far maintaining no-contact. I know that this is very painful for you, and right now you're so overwhelmed by emotion you don't feel like you can get through this but I assure you that you can, you will, and you'll be significantly stronger at the end of things. If you reach that 30 day window and he hasn't reached out to you, push it a little more - I've seen instances where it took 3 months before the (very stubborn) partner succumbed to their emotion and chose to be vulnerable. Don't give up hope, you're a strong person and you can persevere through this. For the time being I would advise that you focus on self-improvement and healing your soul, you want to ensure that you'll be the best version of yourself when the opportunity arises for your moment to shine.
you know I'm not sure he loves me or not. he said that he likes me as a friend and he knows I love him. the last time when he gave me a hug, he gave it to me so tight even though I told him that I'm afraid to hug you. but he did it on purpose I felt it. I don't know why he did that.
I have been through that feeling for one year with him. he kiss me and hug me but he never said he loves me.
i just wish he wants to talk to me again, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT HE IS BLOCKING EVERYTHING BETWEEN US. I understand he did betrayal from his two ex and he is trying to revenge from any other woman but I want to help him and promise i will never chatting on him and I will give him all the love and make our life stable.
yes I'm a strong woman. I had been through a lot on my life but I decided to move foreword and let it go to have a good life and now I'm standing to myself and reached everything good as what I wanted but about love, I COULDN'T. love isn't something I can reach with myself. love is feeling between two person.
Believe me my only hope i need it right now to have a man love me and I love him and have a baby. I wish to have a family.
You are on the right track with no contact, and it is possible that you will have to extend the no contact period again depending on his reactions. Your focus at this point should be yourself and doing things that will better your life. I realize that this guy means a lot to you at this point in time, please do remind yourself that the love of your life is staring at you in the mirror every morning.
Right he means alot to me. i love him so much but i feel right now there is nothing will change between us because he doesn't want me and his feeling changed. i want to forget him. he knows how much i'm hurting, suffering and straggling and he doesn't put any effort on our situation to fix it. he choices to be okay and he doesn't care about me even though he told me several times that i care about you but the fact he doesn't. caring is acting not saying.
Please guys I need your help. I want to move on but I couldn't. i want to stop thinking about him. I want to stop regretting and blaming myself because I didn't do my best to keep him even though I'm sure that i did all my best to keep him and tried to do anything to keep our connection but he doesn't want. I feel he is so selfish. please help me to move on. I feel I'm so week and disable.
During this part of the no-contact period, it is easy to second-guess your goals and steer off-course when it seems you can't reach them. When you are fixating on why he hasn't reached out, you are feeling rejected. That negative mindset is going to make you see everything from a skewed, more negative point of view, and likely cherry-pick through all your memories for the ones that prove he doesn't care for you.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with moving on if that’s what you want to do. Regardless of whether you want to get him back or move on, you should be taking this time to build yourself up. Think of it this way, until you value yourself enough to make your needs and wants a priority, any relationship you enter, whether it is with him, or anyone else, is going to be very one-sided. You will likely put up most of the effort and feel as though the other person has taken advantage of you. The only way to remedy that is by taking time to learn to love yourself. Explore activities and interest that you’ve never taken time for, meditate, exercise (those endorphins can really help!), spend time with family and friends that you haven’t seen in a while…basically just do things for YOU!
In the meantime, consider that any thoughts you have about your ex are not productive at the moment. They are just going to make you feel crummy, so just say to yourself, “this is not a productive thought, and it may sabotage my plans, so I will not give it power by exploring it any further!” Easier said than done, I know, but the more you do this, the better you will become at it. Like anything else, you have to practice quite a bit before it becomes easy.
can you please explain to me why man left the girl who loves him struggling and hurting and he doesn't try to fix the issues to be with her?
It's difficult to pinpoint why some relationships fail and why a person refuses to continue on. If you'd like, we can discuss more in an advice session. We would be able to help you further there, and to create a customized plan for you to try to get your ex back.
my issue is I know my kid man doesn't want to be with me any more and his feeling changed, I'm not sure he had feelings before to changed or not but he said that my feeling changed. I don't have to make a plan for someone doesn't like me and he is done. someone doesn't care about my feelings, doesn't put me on his priorities. doesn't put any effort to keep me in his life. I see my situation with him like he just found a pretty woman from different country and he was curiosity to know me and try this culture and at the same time put another person in a dirt to feel he is okay. he doesn't have any feelings for me.
but because I need a man in my life and I want to make a family, I thought that the man will continue the rest of my life with me and have a baby from him. just created a joke and I accepted it. all what i'm trying to do right now just heal my soul and looking for my future and reach the dream with the right full man.
I know it takes time but will be okay. I had been through a lot and everything is okay right now. but please guys help me. I need you to give me advice and when I feel down, I need you to get me up through our message. Thank you.
We would be very happy to help you. In fact, we love doing it. It sounds like you are having a very painful time getting through this break up and you need someone to talk to on a regular basis. We can only do so much to help you get through this on the forum. The nature of the forum means that we can't respond as often as would be helpful, or as immediately as would be helpful for you. If you come join us in an advice session, we can talk through all of the painful thoughts and feelings you are having when you are having them. I think that will help you get through this a lot easier as opposed to having to wait on the forum and get a less detailed response. During no contact, there is less actionable advice to give on this forum aside from how to distract yourself. An advise session is much more helpful in dealing with the emotions that you are having.
i would like to join you guys in an advice session but i don't want to use my card information online also i have concern like if i keep talking and talking about my issues maybe it takes so long and at the end of the day i find myself spending a lot of money. i just need to control it. also about the advice session, you give us like advice how to heal our soul after breakup or you help to get ex back, i do apologize i need to know what do you guys offer to help us through no-contact, how can you help me and i know my man doesn't love me and he doesn't want to be with me, can you give me advice for how to make someone talks and doesn't want to open up and say the truth. can you help to change his feelings again after he said that his feelings changed through no-contact. you know i don't want to talk to him there is nothing to say. when i talk to him if feeling stress and disappointed. either he blame me for something he knows is wrong or he keeps silent or he says that i'm trying to be your friend
Please please help me i want to forget him, i hate him, he hurt me so bad.
I can tell that you are hurting, you are contradicting yourself in your own post. Listen, I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but you cant control 'it' what you need to do is process the emotions, let them out, scream, cry, get angry, label how you feel, write, sing, dance, get crazy sad, happy... all the emotions. Its OKAY to give yourself permission to feel, we often use others to distract ourselves from taking care of the most important person, our Self (you mentioned soul, so i feel this is appropriate). When you accept that you can only receive what you give yourself you will see that neglecting your inner voice is what got you here. I know its tough love, what I am saying, but you deserve real care and real love, SO letting go and processing for your future self is the best thing right now. I suggest processing, and looking at the 'why' of you being with him. I understand not trusting internet security, but your situation is likely to require more detailed attention. If you really want us to help you and be here for you when you need some ears to bounce ideas off of, I suggest you just get a reusable visa card or something to use with our payment processing. We are very safe but I understand your concerns.