My situation is very complicated. I fell in live with my boy best friend who have a girlfriend for more than 4 years. So i just confessed and told him that i won't be able to talk with him anymore but he insisted me to stay. So i talked and i fell more for him each passing day. After sometime he started ignoring me and i felt so bad. So for my betterment i stopped giving him messages. But he sometimes suddenly gives me messages and i reply him so rudely and again we stop talking. It happened so many times. It was his father's death anniversary. So just as a freind i talked with him and made him laugh and told him that it's just for today. Next day he gave me message again and i continued for someday and with my friends' help,i got to know that he flirts with one of my friend and she too flirts with him. So i totally igonored him and with one big conflict where his girlfiend too was involved, i made it very clear that he loves her only and i will never come betweem them. So i just left and we were in the same school but i igonored him so badly. After so many months, he gave me one message that he saw a bad dream about me and he said me to stay carefully but i gave him a fuck and gave a status on my fb but he didn't use any bad words justsaid that it was a bad dream so he asked me to stay carefully. He was again back in my life. I heard from my friends that he get jealous when someone teases me with my other boy bestfriend. And on my vacation, from some sources,i got to know that he loves me too. And we started talking again and he confessed me his feelings but i confronted him that it's not good and his girl loves him so much. But he said that she always insults him and use very abusive and rude words and never trusts him. So the feeling he got for her faded away with every fight and his feeling for me started after i talked with him in his father's dead anniversary. And he flirted with my friend because he thought that my friend will tell me and i will start hating him and he ignored me because he wanted me to hate him. Then after he confessed me,we talked everyday but hidingly and he said me that after class 12 we will go to different places and his girlfriend will leave him as she never trusts him and he will confessed his feeling in front of everyone. He proved his love for me in everyway. He always stays sad whenever he talks with his girlfriend. Am i doing bad by coming in between them?
Encouraging somebody to cheat on their girlfriend isn't the right answer. There is nothing wrong with asking your ex to choose to be with you instead of his current girlfriend once or twice and then dropping it. But I think you know the answer to the question of whether or not you are making the right choice trying to come between them. I would recommend that you do not continue a romantic relationship with your ex while he is committed to somebody else. If he is really unhappy with his current girlfriend, the best solution would be for him to break up with her, and then he would be available for you. Unfortunately, you can't make that choice for him. I have concerns that if you start having a romantic relationship with him on the side, that he will be getting everything he needs from you without having to choose between two girls. And that's not fair to you or the other girl. I would suggest that you stop flirting with him and trying to meet up with him behind his girlfriend's back, and only start trying to date him again if he will break up with his current girlfriend.
He is not my ex. He is just my friend with whom i have fallen in love with and now he is falling for me but he don't want to break his girlfriend's heart as,if he does that right now, his girlfriend would fail im her exam which ge doesn't want.
ah okay so it sounds like he has a good heart which is good but he's definitely torn between what to do. I would tread lightly with him. Continue being his good friend and then maybe after her tests you can see if he changes his mind
There is never a "right time" to break up. I agree with Or, lets see after her tests, but there should be a clear time limit on how long you will wait for him to break up with her. In the meantime, it's best to stay focused on your personal goals.
I don't know is it right to wait for somebody to get break up. I am a girl and i should know her feeling too. I feel like i am a culprit here. I know she is hurting him but she loves her too. Maybe he feels that she will not trust her after they both get apart and they will fight a lot and after that they will break up but if it not happens,what will i do?
It wouldn't be right to actively try to ruin his relationship with her, but if you are just being his friend while waiting for him to do what he says he is going to do, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So follow up with him about it after exams, and focus on yourself in the meantime to stay busy.
That really made me feel good. Thank you so much. I guess, i just have to wait and see what he does. If he choose her, i will just go away. If he choose me, it's okay too.
What if i just stop talking with him? Is it a good decison?
It certainly wouldn't be a bad decision. If he is with someone else now, it would be a good time for you to focus on yourself, without the continual heartbreak of reaching out to him (even as a friend) and not getting from him what you really want. Then, after some time, if he comes back to you and wants a relationship again, you can decide where to go from there.
Should i just stop talking with him or tell him that i don't wanna talk with him anymore?
I think that the final answer to that question is up to you, but I think you should tell him why you need to back off. He has been your best friend for 4 years, so I think it would be appropriate to tell him what's happening. I would personally recommend telling him at that you need to back off from your friendship because it is difficult to stay platonic friends with him when you have such strong feelings, and he is not single. You can tell him that you do not want to overstep your bounds and cause a problem in his relationship. I'd also let him know that if he does become single, you would be more than happy to hear from him and be very interested in dating him, but that you cannot be involved in helping him make this decision.