Is it possible to regain trust and respect after it has been completely lost? My wife cheated on me a few years ago, and though I forgave her, the issue continued to come up over time due to her extreme jealousy and distrust of myself (completely unwarranted as I've never given her reasons to doubt me). She's become more and more untrustworthy, to the point of involving our kids in her lies, and it's very difficult to get her to accept responsibility for those lies. I think I'm past done with the marriage, but I don't want to leave my children with her, so if it's at all possible to mend this I'd like to try it. I just don't know where to start, as I simply have zero respect for her as a person and believe less than half the things she says. Can that be nurtured back?
Given she cheated on you in the past and her unwarranted distrust , it sounds like she's [projecting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection), which causes her to unconsciously shift blame onto you. Do you think it's possible she still feels guilty about cheating even though you forgave her?
I thought that might be the case, but we've talked about it and no amount of reassuring helps. I could deal with that distrust somewhat, but with everything else, it's a no-go from me. With no trust and no respect, it's been impossible to connect.
Talking it through and verbally reassuring aren't always effective in this situation. I don't know all the ways you've tried, but there are several creative approaches that may help. A live advice session would help me come up with new strategies if you'd like.