My ex and I both agreed to take things slow. Things didn’t end well. I’m almost 7 mo pregnant and we are 4 hours apart. How slow is too slow with communication? Considering that’s all we have right now because we are so far. He’s been initiating contact first all week but he’s hard to keep a convo going with. It’s like he puts no effort into it.
Him initiating is a good sign he's interested in moving things forward. Have you tried talking/texting less and hanging out in person more?
He talked about he might come to town and visit some friends and we could do dinner but we both have a lot going on. My pregnancy is high risk so traveling isn’t a good idea and i haven’t asked him anymore about when he might be in town. Also this is our first week of taking things slow. I’m just frustrated because hanging out would be difficult to us and he’s been s horrible texter.
I think that seeing as you are so far into your pregnancy, and you cannot travel, he should definitely be putting forth more effort to be supportive, present, and available. I think it is really important to communicate your concerns and needs to him - in a calm manner of course - maybe he just needs you to put this in perspective for him. Then hopefully he will then step up and be there for you more. If there is a time you need someone, it is definitely when you are pregnant and have the distance to contend with. In my opinion, this situation kind of goes beyond a 'take things slow' scenario...
I agree. Did I make a mistake by being the one to initiate taking things slow? He got on the subject about our old sex life and I stopped him. I said it wasn’t an appropriate time. He was very apologetic and said he thought I felt the same way. So I finally asked him directly what he wants if he wanted to fix things as friends or he wanted more. He replied asking “what do you want” I said I can’t deny I have feelings for you but we hit a bad patch in our relationship and some relationships do but I said I was scared and said idk how we would co parent being so far apart and that taking things slow would be good. He replies “I totally agree” so since then it’s just us talking here and there.
The thing is, sure you are the one who said that - but now you have tried it and it's not working for you / making you feel good...so I think you should re-address it. Nothing is set in stone. I feel that this has gone beyond taking it slow - again, because there is a baby on the way...and frankly, seeing as you are the one pregnant, this situation is much more taxing on you. I also feel like since you are pregnant, he should automatically know that he should be in better contact etc. So yeah...I think you need to explain that you even though you said to take it slow - this is too slow - and you need more from him in terms of keeping in contact and support. It's also not healthy for you or the baby to be stressing over whether he is messaging or not...
Okay I will try to address it. I tried to bring it up to him the other day when I was again frustrated. He had talked about trying to get me to open up more. So in my defense I have been trying and again he shows no effort with his texting. So when I addressed that I feel like he was being short and I feel that I am the only who is trying to talk he laughed and said I Have the most awkward social skills and that he was just talking like normal people and that he was answering me. I have never been told I have awkward social skills. I make friends and talk to people no problem.
Just because he says you have awkward social skills, it may just be his way of deflecting his responsibility towards better communication on his end. It is quite clear that his communication skills / social skills need brushing up...hence why you are having these problems...