I’m really struggling😔


My girlfriend broke up with me because she felt like we drifted apart and that she felt like my love went away and I didn’t mean for it to seem like that because I never stopped loving her. She says I can’t do anything to change her mind but I don’t want to just give up on her because I love her. She broke up with me on November 11th and says she feels it would be best if we just stay friends but she has no intention of getting back together.
Were you guys fighting at all before the break up? Also have you had any contact since the break up? If so when was the last time you had contact, who initiated it, and how did it go?
We weren’t fighting at all. And yes, we hung out together with groups 2 times, the most recent was last week. Our friend group went to see a movie and she asked if I could pick her up both times and I did because I love seeing her and love being around her. It went alright, being with her made me miss her even more though. It made me kind of sad knowing that she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore.
How were you two acting when you were hanging out? Was there any flirting going on?
Not really any flirting, I feel like part of her wants to give it another chance but something in her head is telling her being friends will be better. When we hung out it was as a group so it wasn’t just us alone the whole time but when I took her home we talked like normal friends do. I just felt so much happier when we were together, and we still text and stuff, she’s constantly on my mind, and seeing her just makes me sad cause I miss her so much. I just want to find a way to get her back. I tried so hard but she wouldn’t budge
It sounds like seeing her frequently is causing you more pain. I wonder as well if constantly being available to your ex makes it easier for her to "take you for granted." I would personally recommend trying to take some space from her for a relatively short period of time, maybe 2-4 weeks? That may help your feelings hurt less as well as let your ex miss you a bit.
I agree, what if I want to get her back though? What should I do? Cause we only hung out 2 times and it was with a big group and we didn’t talk a ton. I just want to get her back
Same advice. A period of no contact (more not reaching out or making an effort to see her) is the best way to increase your chances of getting back. It will help you calm down your emotions so you don't come off as needy and it will show her that you respect her and give her a chance to miss being with you. She can't miss you and want you back if you are always there.
She keeps saying it’s how she feels and that its not going to change, do you still think there’s a chance by doing this, giving it time and space, even though she says she doesn’t think it’ll happen, it still might ?
she said she has no feelings whatsoever anymore and that they’re not gonna come back so I should just give up right?
A no contact period is still an option. If you're struggling to do that, I suggest reading https://relationshiphero.com/@Lior/10-reasons-why-you-shouldn-t-skip-no-contact
She says her feelings gradually went away and now they’re completely gone. How will no contact bring them back?
As Lior mentioned above, a no contact period is recommended first. This is important because giving space shows respect for the other person's decision, and giving time usually helps the other person forget the bad and remember the good. It's true - distance can make the heart grow fonder.