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I feel so messed up right now. My counselor online had me friend request my ex and he hasn’t accepted it. I feel the loss of the break up all over again. I feel awful. I wish I never ever did it. I feel like a complete idiot. Now I’m not in the drivers seat anymore. I don’t know how what to do next. I’m totally panicking. I unfriend my ex Sunday and thought it was a terrible idea to friend request him. I should have gone with my instinct. My ex had been liking all my posts and it was too hard to see that after feeling totally rejected. Someone please give me some sound advice. I have been doing no contact for a month now. Help! Is it over for good?
Don't feel like an idiot. Although facebook seems like a lot it might not mean much. Was she liking your posts after deleting her? or before? Also she might not be ready to have you as a facebook friend yet because she could be upset with what happened during the break up. Also are you sure she saw the facebook request?
It’s a guy. I’m a girl. This guy was in no way shape or form upset about the break up. He liked my posts after the break up like nothing ever happened. I stopped texting him after he asked for space and he never text me again. I stupidly unfriended him because I felt so bad seeing him like all my posts like nothing ever happened. This guy gets on Facebook every day. He’s quite intelligent. I’m sure he saw my request. He’s choosing to ignore it. I’m so confused why my counselor would ask me to friend request him. With this being the aftermath after I was finally starting to feel ok again. I feel like I’ve regressed in a major way. With all the pain coming back up to the surface. It’s so frustrating and now I feel I’ve lost the upper hand.
The fact he kept liking your Facebook posts means he's at least reading them. You could've used this to your advantage by posting things that imply you're moving on and living life to the fullest. If you didn't connect with him, you'd have a harder time showing this off. Also, if he's so nonchalant about the breakup, wouldn't you expect him to add you back? Him intentionally not adding you is a sign he's still emotionally affected by you. I think you should wait a few more days and see if he adds you back. If not, you wouldn't be backtracking as long as you do a No Contact period afterwards. Don't retract your friend request either.
Thank you. That makes a lot of sense and makes me feel much better. I’ve already been doing no contact for 31 days today. Does the clock start over now? Another 30 days?
Not quite, I'd have to know more about your situation exactly, I think in a few days you might be ready to send him a text. But you should consult with your expert first about when/how to do that.
One last question. Should i send my ex a holiday card?
At this stage, I would have to advise against sending a card. It may seem innocent enough, but I think that it would work in your favor right now to act aloof. I would second Lior's suggestion that you maintain the appearance that you're unfazed by the breakup, and enjoying your life. I see that he has been liking your Facebook posts, perhaps post a picture of yourself out doing holiday activities such as ice skating, with a caption like "Walking in a winter wonderland! Happy Holidays, everyone!"