I said really bad things about her kid, now she won't talk


My ex gf broke up with me 5weeks ago because we just always argued one day things got really bad and I said some really bad things to her and about her child she won’t talk to me at all she says she wants me out her life and acts as if she hates me I have tried to talk to her numerous of times but she doesn’t want to hear it she says she just wants to move on but then I don’t understand her because sometimes I will call to speak to her and she lets me speak for abit then goes all angry again is their anyway I can fix any of this
As you've discovered, saying mean things about a woman's child isn't the fastest way to her heart. In terms of setting it right, I suggest you write her a message where you: apologize again, choose your words carefully to show that you've done a lot of self reflection, mention you miss her, and point out that her response toward you was completely justified and that you can see her perspective. Whether she takes you back is questionable, but at least you'll have communicated fully.
I have tried sending her messages and speaking to her but I don’t get nowhere I can tell that she just very hurt and angry at me but at the same time I still feel she still has something their for me I have tried the no contact rule and don’t think it will work on her I just think she’s so hurt that she don’t care but at the same time she does what more can I do I don’t want to lose her?
Maybe it would help if you showed us exactly what you messaged to her...
It is abit to bad to put on here for everyone to see but I basically said she was a bad mum and didn’t put her kid first and she found out through someone else that I said I didn’t care about the kid but it was just all said in the heat of the moment
No, but I mean in terms of what Paul suggested above - "apologize again, choose your words carefully to show that you've done a lot of self reflection, mention you miss her, and point out that her response toward you was completely justified and that you can see her perspective." .... Have you done this yet?
Yeah in a sense I have but I just think she’s so hurt and shocked at me that she’s confused what to really do
"In a sense" may not have been effective enough... A really sincere apology and then some space for her to sort out her feelings sound like the best plan for now. This type of thing is not something that someone will just get over right away - it will take some time.
Well I have apologised numerous times I fink she knows I am really sorry also she knows I miss her but I think she doesn’t want to let this happen again but I have made the mistake several times after the breakup of begging and being needy and before she has given me a couple of chances and it’s happened again so she don’t believe me
Ok well then like I say, you need to give her space and some breathing room to sort out her feelings and hopefully in time she will miss you, be able to let go of what happened, and reach out to you. It will take some patience on your end, but at this point, I think this is the best option.
From a women’s point of view would it be hard to forgive this?
Well no one wants anyone insulting their children - which is why it is completely understandable why she is reacting in this way. We can't predict how she will feel in time...but the bottom line is that you need to give her space now.
But it’s already been 5weeks the longer it goes on for won’t she just slowly drift from me
5 weeks isn't a huge amount of time considering the circumstances. People always worry that if they give the other person too much space, that they may risk losing them completely. In the majority of cases, it works the opposite way - the distance and space enables the other person to get over what happened and start to miss the good times you shared. And since these insults stung her pretty deep, you really just have to be patient...
What if she is so hurt with me and confused that she tries to get into another relationship to forget all about this
Rebound relationships are very common but a lot of the times they don't work out. If she gets into another relationship I wouldnt worry about it too much or jump into any conclusions, yet. It will most likely help her with the healing process of moving on past the anger. True that it may not be the way you want her to move on from the anger, but it will help. Mean while you're going to want to stay cool, calm, and collected. Dont contact her regarding her trying to move on and such because it will only make her more angry right now.
But I don’t fink I would want her back if she went in a rebound relationship because I just think that should be the last thing on her mind it’s the last thing on my mind and the last thing I want to think about now is that she’s with someone else it makes me feel 10 times worse
I guess you will just have to cross the bridge when you come to it...I don't think you need to start worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet...re: rebound relationship
Another thing is she has a child with someone else and ever since we have been together he has interfered and made it hard for her because he wants her back and she never knew how to deal with it so it always caused arguments between us now I just think he will be happy that we are not together and try and work on her
It can always be a bit challenging when you're dating someone and they have a child with someone else...especially if they don't like that their ex is with someone else. That said, you have to remember that they broke up for a reason, so, just like the "rebound relationship", this is another thing that you shouldn't really worry about because it hasn't happened yet...and most likely won't. if a child couldn't keep them together before, then they likely wouldn't be able to make it work long term now either.
But what about if she’s just so hurt and confused and he gets into her head and she finks to give it another go with him and just to be spiteful to me because she knows that would really hurt me
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What do u fink I should do with this situation
Sounds like there're a lot of details about your situation and our advice will need to take them all into account. So I recommend trying our live chat for more advice on this.