Was it love bombing?

Yes, that was love bombing

The warmth disappeared whenever you set a limit.

Love bombing isn't just lots of affection. The affection becomes a reward. It disappears when you do something they dislike and comes back when you fall into line.

A night with friends, a slow reply, or a small disagreement shouldn't be a crisis. Their reaction to those ordinary moments tells you a lot.

What tends to be true about it

• The compliments were huge but could have been about anyone.
• They set the pace and took any slowdown as rejection.
• The warmth vanished without warning, leaving you to guess what you did.
• You started watching their mood and trying to keep them happy.

What to do with it

• Don't try to win a debate about whether it happened.
• You don't need to test them. Normal life will bring another limit soon enough.
• If it's over, don't shame yourself for missing the good part. Unpredictable warmth is hard to let go of.

This has become controlling

The cycle keeps repeating and you're seeing less of other people.

This is more serious than a fast start. They keep switching between intense and cold, and your time with friends or family has started shrinking.

They may never tell you to stop seeing people. Instead, every plan causes a bad mood or an argument until staying home feels easier.

• The same intense, cold, intense cycle keeps coming back.
• Big apologies are followed by the exact same behavior.
• Reconnect with one person outside the relationship, even if it feels awkward.

If there have been threats, fear at home, or anyone stopping you from leaving, this is bigger than a relationship quiz.

You don't have to be certain before asking for help. If they may be checking your phone or accounts, use a device they can't access.

More support: relationshiphero.com/resources

It was intense, but not love bombing

It burned hot, then burned out. That still hurts.

Some people really do fall hard and fast. They mean it at the time, then their feelings change and they handle the ending badly.

It can feel like love bombing afterward. The difference is that they went cold and stayed cold. They didn't keep pulling you back in.

• They may have panicked once the closeness became real.
• Being more available won't bring their feelings back.
• Next time, slow the pace until the excitement matches how well you know each other.

This person handled things badly. That doesn't mean you have to distrust everyone who gets excited about you.

No, they were just really into you

They were excited and still respected your limits.

They were fine when you were busy. You worked through disagreements. Their compliments were about things they'd actually noticed. That's enthusiasm, not love bombing.

Being liked a lot can feel suspicious if you aren't used to it. That doesn't make it dangerous.

• Specific compliments suggest they were paying attention to you.
• “Too good to be true” is a feeling, not proof.
• If it ended later, it may have ended for completely ordinary reasons.

If everyone who likes you starts to feel suspicious, that fear may be worth talking through.

It's too early to tell

Nothing has tested the relationship yet.

The first few weeks can look the same in a healthy or unhealthy relationship. Anyone giving you a definite answer right now is guessing.

You don't need to test them. Normal life will bring a limit or disagreement soon enough.

What to watch for

• See how they react when you're unavailable.
• Notice what happens during the first disagreement.
• Listen for compliments that get more personal as they know you better.
• Keep seeing your friends and family.

Go at a pace that feels good to you. Their reaction will tell you plenty.