In Spanish culture, bullfighting is an art form. In modern culture, texting is an art form. And when it comes to sending smooth logistics texts, there’s a more artful and higher-emotional-value version of The Tightening Noose that makes your texts flow like the steps of a matador’s nimble dance. We call it the Logistical Matador technique.
To use the Logistical Matador technique, you text exactly the way a matador fights. Except instead of dazzling your target with a red cape, you dazzle them with emotional-value-giving role play. And instead of brutally stabbing them to death at strategically choreographed moments, you put logistical details into your texts at strategically choreographed moments. Here’s what it looks like:
You: "
Them: "Ooh I’m not much of a runner…"
You: "
Them: "You’d instantly get crushed haha :) But come to the beach with me sometime, I promise I can walk on the sand all by myself."
You: "
Them: "Haha that’s right I’m my own woman. How about next Sunday? I can make us a picnic basket!"
You: "
Them: "Lol such a strict diet! I’ll do my best but don’t get mad if I accidentally put some turkey & brie on baguette sandwiches in there. Or a delicious pinot grigio :P"
You: "
Notice that we’re still using the Tightening Noose tactic here – whenever we thrust them with the Sword of Logistics, we only aim to push the frontier of established logistics forward by one detail. But even with the Tightening Noose, logistical back-and-forths run the risk of getting boring and stale. The Logistical Matador addresses that by keeping the emotional value high with constant role play.
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In the example above, every other one of your texts is entirely role play (
When you use the Logistical Matador on your target, it’s like you’re sweeping them off their feet and dancing with them, and every few steps in the dance just happens to get punctuated with a sword thrust. Which is exactly how a bull feels in a bullfight.
Just kidding, the bull feels intense pain. It’s really not okay that bullfighting is still legal. The Logistical Matador, on the other hand, is very okay. It’s one of the beautiful possibilities that the art of texting contains, and it’s an effective technique you should use whenever you can.