In Spanish culture, bullfighting is an art form. In modern culture, texting is an art form. And when it comes to sending smooth logistics texts, there’s a more artful and higher-emotional-value version of The Tightening Noose that makes your texts flow like the steps of a matador’s nimble dance. We call it the Logistical Matador technique.
To use the Logistical Matador technique, you text exactly the way a matador fights. Except instead of dazzling your target with a red cape, you dazzle them with emotional-value-giving role play. And instead of brutally stabbing them to death at strategically choreographed moments, you put logistical details into your texts at strategically choreographed moments. Here’s what it looks like:
You: " I feel like a fat pig right now, I need to go running tomorrow. You should join."
Them: "Ooh I’m not much of a runner…"
You: " That’s why I’m gonna let you piggy back most of the way."
Them: "You’d instantly get crushed haha :) But come to the beach with me sometime, I promise I can walk on the sand all by myself."
You: " I like a girl who can pull her weight in the relationship. When’s good for you?"
Them: "Haha that’s right I’m my own woman. How about next Sunday? I can make us a picnic basket!"
You: " Sounds awesome, as long as you can accommodate my diet: strictly kale, plus any decorative greens you can pick off the section dividers of catering trays."
Them: "Lol such a strict diet! I’ll do my best but don’t get mad if I accidentally put some turkey & brie on baguette sandwiches in there. Or a delicious pinot grigio :P"
You: " Yum, I’d definitely forgive you for a catastrophe like that… )Let’s take my car. Can I pick you up at 10am?"
Notice that we’re still using the Tightening Noose tactic here – whenever we thrust them with the Sword of Logistics, we only aim to push the frontier of established logistics forward by one detail. But even with the Tightening Noose, logistical back-and-forths run the risk of getting boring and stale. The Logistical Matador addresses that by keeping the emotional value high with constant role play.
The Best Relationship Advice For You: Want guaranteed results? Click here to chat with a relationship coach. We have a team of highly trained relationship coaches who get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you're worried about. You immediately connect with a coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here to start.
In the example above, every other one of your texts is entirely role play () with no logistics (). But there’s no fixed rule about keeping the ratio of role play to logistics at 2:1 or anything else. If your target has a good personality, they’ll take initiative to contribute to the role play. And if they’re interested to meet you, they’ll also take initiative to contribute to the logistical negotiation. Those factors will help determine the role play : logistics ratio you end up with, but you don’t have to worry about it. Your only job is to make sure the logistical negotiation stays on track and makes steady progress until you guys nail down a concrete plan.
When you use the Logistical Matador on your target, it’s like you’re sweeping them off their feet and dancing with them, and every few steps in the dance just happens to get punctuated with a sword thrust. Which is exactly how a bull feels in a bullfight.
Just kidding, the bull feels intense pain. It’s really not okay that bullfighting is still legal. The Logistical Matador, on the other hand, is very okay. It’s one of the beautiful possibilities that the art of texting contains, and it’s an effective technique you should use whenever you can.